Ask Molly

Ask Molly, The Home Of "Un"-Professional, Solicited Advice

1 note

caroledie asked: Dear Molly, I am usually the funniest person in the room. The problem is, I am the only person in the room. My question is, how do I tell my boyfriend that he is just a figment of my demented imagination? Signed, Anonymous

Dear Caroedie,

You are the funniest person in your boyfriend’s room.

Signed,

AskMolly

Notes

Anonymous asked: Molly,

I just got married and want to know how to keep it sexy in the bedroom. Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks.

Dear Anonymous,

You just got married and are already having this problem?  Eek.

-AskMolly

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Anonymous asked: Dear Molly,

I want to break into the standup comedy scene and I want to know what your thoughts are pertaining to that endeavor.

Thanks
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

As long as you’re not in my “category”, I don’t care.  Go for it.

-AskMolly

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Anonymous asked: Dearest Molly,

You seem to not have a care in the world? How can I achieve this reality/illusion?

Best,
PK

Dear PK,  

You probably can’t.

-AskMolly

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Anonymous asked: What's the best way to tell you I have a crush on you?

Looks like you just did.

-AskMolly

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Anonymous asked: dear molly
why my dog molly look like a penis and ya she a dog so no smart t
ass shit
love a person that like knowing shit

I only respond to complete thoughts and questions.

Thanks.

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Anonymous asked: Dear Molly,

Right now I have a house guest who is too touchy feely. He cuddles me in bed, eats a lot, and always asks questions. He is here for another 3 days!!!! and i have school work! what am I do to?

Hopeless Hospitality

Dear Hopeless Hospitality,

I think you need to re-evaluate who you pick as friends.

And buy an air mattress.  House guests shouldn’t be sleeping in your bed.

Best regards,

AskMolly

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Anonymous asked: Is it too early in the season to wear white skinny jeans? - Tippy

Tippy,

You can’t wear white jeans before Memorial Day, you idiot!

Best regards,

Askmolly

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Anonymous asked: I'm going to an Indian wedding and my friend knows a guy from india who is around my size. They are colleagues more than friends. Can she ask him if I can borrow one of his Indian outfits for the big day? - Harrison

Dear Anonymous,

Don’t be cheap.  Borrowing clothes from a stranger is weird.  What if they have BO?  Or crabs?  Just drive down to Little India and get yourself an outfit.  They’re not expensive.

Best regards,

AskMolly